. My name is Patrick and im based in sussex in the Uk.
Apologies for this outpouring.

I have always felt a strong connection to nature, my childhood was spent in the garden usually covered in ants and mud, although I went through the Sunday school church thing I never really got it and longed to be back in the garden which I seemed to understand far better. As a teenager I found fishing which bought a magic into my life, loving the early morning mist rolling off the lake and feeling a part of it waking and coming to life.

In my late 20s I found myself working for a christian organisation supporting homeless people. At that point I thought that Christian people were good people that were always honest and fair.
I got into a discussion regarding the day of judgement and was told that only Christians would be saved. There would be rioting and terrible crimes on this day but true Christians wouldn’t fight this as it was gods will. In other words you were supposed to stand by as your loved ones were attacked proving your faith to god.

This idea didn’t sit right with me as I know I would have defended myself and others but I always felt I was a good person and it frightened me to think that god would damn me for what felt true in my heart. This occupied my mind for a few days, worrying about all the other good people that would fight and thus be damned. God had it wrong…. Or perhaps I wasn’t the person I imagined myself to be, perhaps I was bad.

Then whilst driving home with these thoughts churning in my head something very strange happened. I was on a very quiet dual carrigeway , it was late when I suddenly felt a presence all around me, inside the car. It felt warm, comforting and I swear whatever it was was giggling at me. It felt profoundly female and the message seemed to be “ this isn’t your problem and it really doesn’t matter” The feeling was so strong I pulled over and I found I was trembling. I suddenly felt a huge sence of relief and inner peace, perhaps love. It shattered the fears in my head. It didn’t feel authoritarian yet I knew it was hugely powerful, it gave me no instruction as to how I should live.
It gave me a huge faith that I wasn’t alone and I was totally understood.

I believed in god after this event yet theres no way this tied into any religion I had ever heard of which seemed to require sets of rules and judgements. This happening seemed to say follow your heart.

I have tried very hard to understand what happened and can only relate it to the similar buzz I feel at certain times when fishing although it was so much stronger.

I have tried to share this with others, but usually I get a blank nod or an agreement which seems false. Nobody has truly understood so far… not that I need them to but I wonder to this day who she was. It would be wonderful to meet her again.

I know very little about wicca or pagans yet feel a strong connection to nature which seems to be the basis of these beliefs. I guess im hoping to understand the connection better to feel more of it.

Hopefully im in the right place?

Pat

Hello Pat

I am another newbie to the site but not a newbie to Paganism and Spirituality.

I think you'll fit right into this peaceful, non-judgemental world There are times when you'll have serious doubts and the things you've learnt as a christian will conflict your belief and knowledge as a wiccan or whatever path you choice. By this I mean things like belief in spirit. My parents went through a whole Jehovahs Witness phase and dragged us with them. I took me a long time to get rid of the brain washing.

When the freedom hits you its an amazing feeling. I really feel that the woman coming through to you was a spirit guide of yours and is around you often.

Best of luck on your path, may it lead you to some amazing places

xx

Thank you for the welcome.
Seems a good place to grow.

Welcome Patrick...

This is a lovely forum with even more beautiful souls adhered to it. I would say attached... but... this places fixes to you in such a manner you don't want to be away from it.

Plenty to read here... and would suggest to start there first... or pick up your first Wiccan books to give you a sort of basic understanding. I will suggest a few titles to you.

I am not wiccan myself.... I am more... (Hey guys.. I think I found a name for what I am..LOL... DRUWIC...hahaha) Partly Wiccan.. Partly Druid..LOL.

At any rate.. some good books that you will give you a greater understanding if Wicca is what you think your looking at in your life. I am a solitary... because here in the Backwoods of Kentucky... there aren't many of us around... maybe 1 or 2 scattered over several counties...

But... the books I suggest for Solitary study.... or even beginning study would be:

Wicca for Beginners by Thea Sabin
Wicca A guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham
Wicca for One by Raymond Buckland.

Scott Cunningham's books are the easiest read I believe... besides I like his laid back style. Buckland and Sabin delve more into ritual and what I found was the history of sabbats, esbats and rituals.

Welcome to the board... and check out the links here to the books... all of those have been suggested or read by the members here... becareful that you are not drowned by the websites out there that pour out incomplete information as easily as water from a spigot.

You will find many in this forum are incredibly knowledgable and kind.

Blessed be
Touching Earth

Thanks for the book reccomendations and the welcome. Its nice to see so many different paths that seem to head towards the same destination.

welcome im new here too ive found alot of good things here

We are all headed to the same destination... only the method of travel varies from one soul to the next...

Touching Earth